Your Troubles Are Mine
by Lavender and Hay
Summary: Some series 3 speculation. Sister Julienne has something she needs to tell Shelagh.


**This is just some series three speculation, based on some of the spoilers we know already.**

Shelagh was busy checking she had put all of her belongings back into her handbag before she left to go home. She was looking down at her desk, and did not see that someone was quietly approaching her.

"Shelagh-..."

She jumped a little in fright, giving a quiet gasp, snapping the clasp of her handbag shut as she did so; her eyes flitting wildly up as she did so, only to meet Sister Julienne's kindly gaze looking questioningly at her.

"I'm sorry, Sister, I didn't see that you were there." 

"It's quite alright," Sister Julienne told her, "I should have made my presence known to you more gently."

"Did you want to speak to me about something?" Shelagh asked, wondering why she had approached so slowly, so cautiously.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Sister Julienne replied, "I do. You aren't in a hurry?"

"I've an hour before I have to meet Timothy."

Sister Julienne nodded succinctly, pausing for a moment.

"Would you be kind enough to step into my office?" she asked.

Shelagh nodded.

"Off course, Sister," she replied, following silently, a little puzzled.

She followed Sister Julienne down the bright corridor, their shoes each making distinctive but equally resounding sounds on the new floor with each step they took. Sister Julienne held the door of her office open and followed Shelagh inside of it.

"Please, do take a seat," she told her.

Rather than sitting behind the desk in her usual chair, Sister Julienne took one from the side of the room and brought it to sit beside Shelagh, on the same side of the desk. Shelagh was perplexed now about several things but she said nothing, knowing that Sister Julienne wanted to say something and that she was likely to explain herself when she did. For another moment, though, Sister Julienne remained silent, seeming to wonder how to begin.

"You have been unhappy now for some time," she stated at last, her voice quiet but very certain.

Shelagh's mouth parted in surprise, and then, almost finding the words to deny it-... but she was cut off by Sister Julienne, who spoke again with that same certainty.

"Please don't pretend to me that you haven't been, Shelagh," she told her quietly, sadly, "I know. You may be good at pretending but I have seen you do so before. I knew in my heart that something was not as it should be long before I had it confirmed."

"Had it confirmed?" Shelagh repeated.

"Dr. Turner-... Patrick confirmed my suspicion when I approached him about it," she told her, "Shelagh, do not be angry with him. I made him tell me."

There was a silence.

"I couldn't stand to know that something was troubling you and not be able to help," she told her.

Another brief silence.

"And can you help?" Shelagh asked shortly, her voice brittle "Does the knowledge that I cannot have children make you any better equipped to help me than you were before?"

"No," Sister Julienne admitted sadly, "It does not. Not in the way that you want it to. I wish you had come to me," she added after a moment.

Shelagh sniffed quietly.

"Like you say, Sister, it wouldn't have made any difference."

"It would have to me," Sister Julienne told her, "When will you realise, Shelagh? I want you to bring your troubles to me, whatever they may be. I need you to-..." she broke off shortly, her voice somehow changing, becoming more reluctant. She cleared her throat firmly and continued, "I'm not too busy and your troubles are not unimportant. They are exceptionally important to me. They are my troubles too. Oh, my darling girl," she saw tears welling in Shelagh's eyes, and reached forward, taking her hand and holding it tightly.

"I'm sorry, Sister," Shelagh told her.

"There is no need for you to be sorry," she told her gently, running her thumb gently over the back of her hand, "I only wish you had told me sooner. Because I do want to be of help."

"How can you?" Shelagh asked her, wiping her eyes hurriedly with her other hand.

"Not in any significant way," Julienne admitted again, "But I wanted to tell you not to give up hope. The happiness you had probably anticipated may not arrive but that does not mean another cannot. I'm sure you and Patrick have thought about adoption-..."

"We did," Shelagh agreed, "But-..." she trailed off.

There was silence for a moment.

"I know," Julienne nodded calmly, "That this is not that way you imagined it would be. And I cannot tell you that this way will not be incredibly difficult for you both. But I can tell you, with very great certainty, that blood is not the only thing you can build a family upon. Love does not count on it. Not in the slightest."

Shelagh looked down at their hands, feeling Julienne's grip on her tighten a little.

"Sister," she murmured, after a moment, "I don't know wha-..." 

"You don't need to say anything," Julienne assured her, "But please think about what I have said. I only hope it can begin to set you at rest."

There was a pause for a moment.

"Thank you, Sister," Shelagh told her sincerely.

Sister Julienne smiled, standing up. Their hands were still clasped, and as Shelagh stood up, she came closer to Julienne, her arms clasping around her middle to hug her; she buried her head against Julienne's chest, and Julienne held her tightly as she whispered again; "Thank you."

**End.**

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